7.07.2008

Don't put my steak in your balloon as a hobby.

I'm pretty upbeat, I'm pretty positive, I like to see the good in things / situations, I'm an optimist. With that said..., I'm about to go all soapbox on a few things.



First - water balloons. I hate water balloons. YES I know they're supposed to be fun, YES I USED to play with them as a kid. More specifically speaking I hate balloons, even more specifically I hate latex (does a double specifically make an un-specifically?). I hate the smell, I hate the texture, but mostly it's the smell. I don't think I have globophobia, I just think it's a general loathing of latex. I hate rubber bands, I hate rubber gloves and when I was younger my siblings would torture me we the rubber bands from off the daily newspaper, they would put them in their mouths, pin me down, then chew them right in front of my face. EEEWWW GROSS... Today at Target both the girls got a 100 pack of water balloons, and I had to give lessons on how to tie off a balloon. When I find myself in Hell with Satan and his followers my plight will be tying off balloons all day, every day... I just know it. It was fun teaching a skill to my girls however, they both got it with the "2-finger" technique.



Second - Black Angus. Now I'm not talking about the cow, I have nothing against cow's, as a matter of fact they're delicious, mmm... I'm talking about the restaurant - Stewart Anderson's - Jen and I had a gift certificate for $25 and thought it would be nice to eat there today as a family. SIDENOTE ON HOW WE GOT THE GIFT CERTIFICATE - (We originally gave it to Jen's dad as a present for his birthday. We got a phone call from him saying "Um this is kinda weird but... there aren't anymore Black Angus joints here in Utah". So we sent him a different gift certificate, and he sent us that one back.) I know why there aren't any more in Utah, they're horrible - Yes I see the irony - But it has been a long time since I've been and I must have forgotten. Jen's folks always used to get these great coupons to the place, and that would make it worth it. You would have to have a coupon 'cause the cheapest thing in the place is a piece of chicken for $15. We wanted steak so each plate was $21. Good thing I had $25 bucks to the place or I'd a walked out. Sub-par food, sub-par portions, OK service, but for that price Jen & I agreed Sizzler would be a much better choice. Stewart Anderson's = Highly overrated



Third - Hobby Lobby. Now I must note, this will prolly be an unpopular blitch...
BLITCH = To complain about something when writing on a blog.
Most of the people who read my blog are women, and maybe for them Hobby Lobby is great... 'cause it's a huge crap..., oops..., craft store. If you're going to name your place Hobby Lobby have some damned "Hobby" stuff there. Hobby stuff are things like model rockets, model cars, remote control airplanes, remote control cars, erector sets, train sets, etc... And don't even think about commenting with something to the effect of "Crafting IS a hobby" BULL - When someone says hobby, we all think of some nerdy guy in his basement coloring his toy soldiers to place on his civil war re-enactment set he bought off TV from TIME-LIFE. BTW - They had like 2 aisles of what I would define as "hobby" stuff and 148 aisles of crap, super crap. Their business model seems to be, double the price of everything, then mark everything 50% off. What a rip!?!? I would walk by some widget or a what-not and think "I would pay $10 for that" then I would turn it over and see a sticker for $21.99, then I would look up to see a sign saying "What-not's & widgets 35% off". I will end by saying going in to this store was a very emasculating event, I could actually see the despair on the faces of my fellow brethren also relegated to this misery!



I will say this post was not about the company, but about the itinerary. I loved spending the day with the fam.

7 comments:

Crazymamaof6 said...

love the use of blitch! did you look that up in urban dictionary? do it.
and check out who wrote the definition!

so you had a fun day with the family! very exciting stuff! i haven't made it to Hobby lobby yet, but yes that is totally blitchworthy that they only had 2 aisles of guy crap. how many do they have at Micheal's?
there are guy crap stores around,have you not found them or were you hoping for another to add to the list of guy crap supply stores?
the latex issue brought a few things to mind that i am resisting saying but that is one interesting issue. and GROSS on your siblings chewing dirty rubberbands!

Crazymamaof6 said...

damn it! i only get credit for Blitching.

Kristy said...

That's right, yesterday was day off. Now you know what not to do on your next day off. I does take awhile to whittle out the riff-raff.

Jenifer said...

I'm trying to remember who it was that suggested Hobby Lobby. Oh yeah, it was you. Lets see, who wanted Black Anus? Oh yeah, that was you as well. :) Thanks for the fun day!

Kim Bringhurst said...

Kim patting Nate on back sympathetically... "breathe, just take a deeeeeeep breath..." A similar childhood trauma caused my aversion to custards and glazed donuts!

As for the Black Angus issue... I guess you get what you deserve when you voluntarily decide to enter, and eat in, a restaurant that smells exactly like hot, meat poop on the front sidewalk.

Jenifer said...

Hot meat poop....MMMMMM

Kim Bringhurst said...

Am I right though? I'm right! I've never been to a Black Angus where I didn't get a whiff of hot, meat poop as I walked to the front door!