Worst Job(s) / Best Job(s)

Have you ever dreamed of being soemone else, or doing a different job? Most of us have I venture to say... Even if you have a great life, make tons of money, and love your job, you've wondered what it would be like to be a professional (insert dream job here). In fact my daughter was recently asked this question about me, and she said I would be Tiger Woods, that's probally true!
Along those lines Jen and I were talking about what would be horrible jobs & great jobs. I have a list of a few bouncing around in my head. I would love your input as well, comments are encouraged...And the more eeeewwww or aaaawwww factor your comment has the more I like you!?!?

Outhouse tank cleaner-outer guy
Cleaning the grease traps at a all-night short order fast food joint
Embalmer
Landscaper in Phoenix in July
Landscaper in Alaska in January
Laundry room worker at a hotel or cruise ship
Colonoscopy technician
Slaughterhouse worker
8th grade algebra teacher
Factory line worker at a fish processing plant
Getting the gum off the bottom of public park tables
Brittany Spears personal assistant
Flatulence analyst
Prison orifice checker

Now on the flip side, and to end on a nicer note lets get to the second half of the discussion... BEST JOBS! This list could be huge I know. The only thing I ask is if you add a job make it real, nothing dumb like TV watcher, or Bon Bon eater.

The person who gets to name paint colors (Almond Sky, Venetian, Moonlight Breeze, etc)
Hand model
Ice cream flavor maker-up-er (and taster)
Movie critic/writer
Food critic/writer
Travel critic/writer
Wildlife photograper (This is prolly a lot harder than I think)
Working on Mythbusters
Sports car test driver
Anchorman/woman (Show up for an hour and say some stuff and go home)
Major league relief pitcher (these guys work one inning every other game for like $11 mil a year)
Socialite
Oprah's personal assistant
College professor

my disneyland trip by nathan w

i went to disneyland
it was fun
we drove in the car
we drove a long ways
for a long time
then we got to california
then we saw our children
they are megan and sammy
we saw my parents too
they are jim and kris
they rode on a plane
they had fun too
we went on lots of rides
some rides got us wet
we saw mickey
we saw goofy
we saw snow white
we saw the tiki room
we saw women in hot pants
we saw lots of kids crying
ther a lots of interesting people at disneyland
it was hot
i think it was the hottest ever
i took a nap
we went to california adventure too
we soared over california
not really
it was just a ride
it was called soarin' over california - funny huh
i ate cotton candy
it was pink
it was yummy
cotton candy is one of my favorites
we went on lots of rides there too
some rides got us wet
i didn't get any souvenieers
i don't like souvenieers
i like indiana jones ride
i don't like spinning rides
they make me feel yucky
then we went to the beach
we had fun
we saw dolphins
i rode some waves
i have red skin
jen says it's a sunburn
it hurts alot
i got sand in my bumcrack
we stole icebuckets from the hotel
we made a sand castle
we drove home
we were in the car forever
then we slept in our own beds
it was fun
i like spending time with my family
now i gots to go back to work

So it's been a while since I posted right? Sorry if you're a frequent looky loo and I've been disappointing your visits. Work has been a roller coaster lately, with the new store opening and all :->.

Speaking of roller coasters...

Friday we'll be leaving for California, going to Disneyland.

I have a little history with this "Happiest place". I'm as easy going as the next guy I guess. The last time I was in a "fight" was against Bobby something or other when I was in the 6th grade, he was in 5th grade, and he called me fat! Them's fightin' words right - I'm husky, not fat... lol!?!? I punched him once and that was that, fight over, haven't had a physical altercation since.

But the last 2 times I went to Disneyland I have gotten in to fights (Yes I know gotten ain't a word).

The first time Megan was just a two year old. It was late, and we'd been there ALL day. We wanted to stick around for the Main Street Light Parade and get a good "seat" right at the edge of the curb on Main Street. I was standing and Megan was on my shoulders, so she could have the best seat in the house. As you may know the parade is kind of a big deal. EVERYONE stays to watch it.

PS - I don't like crowds!!!

Now the edge of my toes are literally hanging off the edge of the street, and people are starting to line up to see the show. Right then someone "Belly Bumps" me from behind. Now this was a definite and deliberate push, or shove if you will, meant to get me to move forward. I slipped off the edge of the curb, both hands firmly gripped around Megan's ankles, and nearly took a header on to Main Street.

Once I gained my balance (cat like speed and quickness on my side) I turned around, fist raised, ready to punch the A-Hole behind me that nearly pushed me down. I turn around to see an 80 year old, 4 foot 5 inch Asian woman clutching her purse with eyes as wide as truck tires. My fist slowly turned in to a very stern raised index finger, and I calmly but firmly yelled at her "Don't push me" - It worked I guess, she disappeared in to the crowd! Yeah me!

The last time we went to Disneytopia and I got in a fight was about three years ago. It was during the week between Christmas and New Years. Side note - The two busiest weeks at Disneyland are 1st, 4th of July weekend and 2nd, the week we were there. We were down by the Jungle Ride walking at a snails pace because of all the people, and I was pushing a stroller with Sam in it.

Now it was so busy the fine people at Disney placed signs in the "streets" asking people to move to the right, so traffic can more easily move back and forth. As we're shuffling along like 100 year olds on a rocky mountain hike two guys behind me start shouting at everyone to "MOVE TO THE RIGHT" - "MOVE TO THE RIGHT"!!!

PS - Did I mention I don't like crowds?

Finally I turned around and yelled back at these jerks that they should follow their own advise, and move to the right!?!? "You got a problem Buddy!" He hollers back.

Now in man-speak "You got a problem Buddy" is a synonym for "I want to kick your ass".

Nope no problem here, just tired of you yelling at everyone, all 14,000 of us, packed in to a space made for 7,000. We're all in this together and no one's going anywhere fast, so just relax!

Now it got fun, now they're in my face, now my brother is there too, saying "You guys got a problem?" (Remember the synonym thingy?) and my wife saying NATE... NATE..... NATE...... And after what felt like an hour, but was only seconds, my brother and me, and our newly made friends slowly parted ways staring each other down like Ali & Frasier. I figured I didn't want to spend my vacation, let alone New Year's in the Disney clink. Who knows, I might have missed the Light Parade?!?!

Please pray for me this next weekend, pray I don't lose my patience and punch the jerk hiding behind that Mickey costume. LOL... I'm chuckling because I see myself like Clarke W Griswold at Wally World punching a mouse in the face and caving in his plastic grill! Like this...hehehe

Procrastination! Paying off NOW!

The following may have some swear words and / or obscene language, parental supervision is suggested!

No I'm just kidding, but I am pissed about something so I'm venting. For months and months now Jeff & I have been planning on hunting Javelina here in Arizona. The hunt was supposed to be late this fall in November. Now we take our hunting somewhat serious, as one must do these days. After all you have to submit your application to hunt 5 months before the actual hunt, not to mention the few hundred dollars one must spend for the chance to hunt a wild pig.

REALITY CHECK - Yes I know that by the time I actually apply, stalk, hunt, kill, clean, dress, butcher, cure, store and eat this "pork" it costs me like $36.00 per pound!!!

Remember how I said SUPPOSED to hunt. Well last night after avoiding / delaying / procrastinating our application I sat down and filled it out. I had to call Jeff like 4 times to get all of his info etc. Also had to call Jen's dad to see if he wanted to go etc. This is also after bugging a guy at work who had to bug his friend to find a good place to go.

After working on it for about an hour it was time for the final step, entering the "hunt number". Each species of animal, and every area available to hunt has a number associated with it. I was reading the proclamation to find this number when I read "Fall Javelina: All fall javelina hunts are designated Juniors Only" What..., damn kids! You've got to be under the age of 17 to hunt Javelina this year in the fall. That sucks!

Now the reason this post is about procrastination is because it took me so long to make out, and attempt to submit the application (3 months). BUT-You have to send in a check with your application with all of your license and tag fees ($356.25) at the time of application. If I had done this months ago, (like I should have), before the State made this rule, they'd be sitting on my 356 bucks, and my guess is they wouldn't be quick in returning it.

Yeah me for being lazy.

But Jeff, I promise we'll go in the spring of 2009!?!?

Anyone else in?

If people watching / commenting is wrong I don't want to be right!

We had dinner with my cousin (Kari) whilst traveling through Vegas. We had a great dinner, local, tribal knowledge of Vegas is a good thing. We ate at an oddly named place, "Jerry's Nugget". Yeah we had some fun with that name. PS - I don't think Jerry's have nuggets? We had steaks, prime rib, king crab legs, salads, bread, and drinks for $66.00, even Sadie got a couple of bites. During dinner we were talking about Vegas and what is good about it and what is bad about it. I won't say whether the following is good and or bad, you'll have to decide, it's just what we saw while we were there for 18 hours!?!?

Elvis driving a pink Cadillac
3 or 4 brides in gown, cigarette in one hand, beer in the other
1 Groom in a baseball cap, beer in hand, getting picture taking in front of "Little chapel of love"
Drunk dancing tranny - If you don't know what this is 2 bad 4 u (Transvestite - Did I spell that right?)
Ball of death
2 Spray paint artists
1 Bicycle that was packed and looking like it was ready for the Ho-Chi-Min trail
Stripper with a boiler - If you don't know what a boiler is 2 bad 4 u (Beer Gut)
2 meth addicts acosting me and asking for money
An old, fat guy sitting in direct sunlight (98 degrees) for an hour - Stand up - Pick his wedgie - And sit down again
My credit card get denied for $4.00
Being asked for my father's maiden name
2 Lesbians making out
Internet access costing $5.99 per day and gladly paying it
3 Street preachers telling us were going to Hell because we're there - Does anyone else see the irony?
88 Lb woman stealing cigarettes out of ash trays
And countless indescribable hairdo's, outfits, odd-couples, and behaviors
It was great sharing all of this with Jen. She and I are like peas and carrots..., my Jenny!
Anyway - I'm glad to be home, I'm glad everything went well, I'm glad I don't have to drive more than 8 miles tomorrow :-> We had sooo much fun it's hard to find where to begin. My plan was to do a daily or bi-daily post - Kind-of a blog journal I guess. But when we were without the net during our SLC stay that plan de-railed. Now I'm too lazy to post it all. Jen does a good enough job anyway (Yes honey I know it's cheating).

HIGHLIGHTS

Thanks to the Bringhurst family for Moab
Thanks to the Woodard family for Millcreek Canyon
Thanks to Dad & Brian for Golf - even though I lost :-(
Thanks to my work for my vacation time and the use of the RV
Thanks for our blessings that allowed this to happen
Thanks to Kari & Rainier for dinner
Thanks to my wife for putting up with my Clark W Griswold ideas / ways
Happy 40th to my parents - Love you both!!!