12.01.2008
I'm giving...Thanksgiving!
But for the last 3 years Thanksgiving has meant so much more because we've had family come to town to visit and celebrate. My Mom & Dad, Sister and her kids (Brett, Rachel & Lindsey) made the trek down this year. I've got to say I love having everyone here, some people might not like being that close (10 people 1 house) but I think it's great. Not great as in, do it all time let's have one big happy family great, but it's good for 4 or 5 days.
We ate, we spent time together, saw a couple movies, did some shopping, played some golf, went on walks, hung the Christmas lights, played the Wii, did crafts, went and saw lights, cooked together, and had a great time.
Now the house is a mess, that's OK. Now our lives are getting back to normal, that's OK. Now we have a fridge full of food that will mostly go to waste, that's OK. There is a pile of laundry to do, bedding to wash, beds to make, and that's OK.
I am thankful for family
I am thankful for a loving wife
I am thankful for 2 great kids
I am thankful for good neighbors
I am thankful for a nice place to live
I am thankful for my job
I am thankful for health
I am thankful for opportunities
I am thankful for quiet times
I am thankful for noisy times
And now...that Thanksgiving is over...it's time for Christmas!
11.16.2008
BUT
I do think there are two types of bikers. Not motorcycle riders; bikers. BMX, mountain bike, ten speed, etc...
First there is the man/woman who rides because he/she wants to ride. They've got the gear, the bright yellow spandex jersey with the padded crotch. Matching streamline helmet. The special shoes that clip in to their pedals so they can maximize every up and down stroke. Two water bottles full of Vitamin water. Ipod strapped to their arm with the cord neatly tucked through their spandex. The blinky red light on the back, and the blinky headlight on the front to warn motorists of their coming or going. These folks are usually in shape, calves that could stunt double as horseshoes and thighs that could crush walnuts. They look like they know where they're going and how fast they're going to get there.
Second type: A little aged (25-40), dressed in everyday apparrel, no bike accessories, usually on a BMX style bike. These guys are not riding a bike because they want to. They are riding because they have to. I'm guessing it's because of their choices... Is it me or do these guys kind of just troll around, not really heading anywhere in particular. They just kind of bump around streets and parking lots and business areas. They have a shifty way of looking around, like they're looking for some type of opportunity, for what I don't know... Anyway that's only my point of view and my observations.
11.06.2008
Yeah. It happened today!?!?
As many of you know I sell parts, I'm in the customer service business. "What can I get for you today Sir?" "How may I help you Maam?" "Would you like help with that?" These are all monicurs that roll forth from my yapper daily. Anyone who's ever been in this type of business knows you are always polite when interacting with a customer, but when they leave... all bets are off. Our customer's make us laugh, they make us mad, they leave us scratching our heads etc...
With that said, I've told this story many times to those I know but have never written it down for all to read. It usually goes something like this:
Me: What can I get for you today sir?
Old Man: Well, I bet you can't help me!
Me: Oh yeah, gimme a shot, what do you have there?
OM: It's a latch for my screen door.
Me: I see that, looks broke ;->.
OM: Yup. I've been all over this town and no one has been able to help me!
Me: Really, I've have that very thing right here. [Pull part from shelf & show OM]
OM: Yeah, you do have it... BUT... I bet you don't have it in white!?!?
Me: Actually I do, it's right here. [Pull white part from shelf & show OM]
OM: Oh......Well......How much is it?
Me: That'll be $14.99 plus tax.
OM: Mmmmm pretty proud of that there part!
Me: Well, that's just how much they cost, it's less than 20 bucks, not too bad I guess.
OM: Well, I'm gonna look around a little more and see if I can find it for less.
Me: OK. {The following only happens in my mind} Didn't you say you've been all over town looking for this part? Didn't you say no one has been able to help you yet here I stand, part in hand, ready to solve your problem for under 20 dollars? You prolly drive an old Chrysler Town Car that gets 2 gallons to the mile, and you're going to drive around more, maybe all the way across town, trying to save how much? How much can one save off of a $15 part? You're an idiot sir, you'll be back I know it!
Later that day....
OM: You still got that part?
Me: Let me check..........................Yep.
OM: Can you cut me a deal on it, gimme a break on the price?
Me: Nope, no can do, bosses get mad {hehehe I am the boss}
OM: Well, I think it's too much, but I guess I gotta do it [OM reaches in to wallet where several crisp hundred dollar bills are neatly lined up and pulls forth one of the aforementioned hunnies]
Me: Here's your eighty three dollars and sixty seven cents in change sir, have a great day!
OM: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
After a while I realized something about OM. Earlier that day when he first came in he had something to do. He had something to live for. For weeks his old lady kicks his behind everyday to "Git that dang door fixed". So when I had what he needed, I totally buzz killed his project. If he went home immediately following visiting me imagine how P-O'd his wife would be. "You've been puttin off that project for all this time when you could have finished it in an hour!" So he had to stall...He had to drive around for 6 or 7 hours to "accomplish" his task. Otherwise she's gunna find something else to nag about. But if it seems like the project was a PITA she'll leave him alone for a couple of weeks. It's the only rest he'll get until he dies, which will be before his wife cause he doesn't want to hear her nag, or do a project, so it's the next easiest thing!
11.04.2008
Fan is short for fanatic...
my fan-dom was called in to question? Twice!
By a BYU fan?
I know, I know... You can't really talk a fan off his/her team, so I won't...
There is a buzz in the air around Phoenix about the Cardinals, I however, am not so sure. I'm going to make a prediction, and like any good psychic, anyway it goes, I'll be right! The Cards, IF they make the playoffs, will lose tragically in the first round.
BOOOOOOO............
LOL
If they don't make it to the playoffs, I'm right. I love being right. If they do make the playoffs and lose first round I'm right. Did I mention I like being right? If they make it past that, oh well, I'll enjoy their run.
11.02.2008
Not my brightest moment :->
10.15.2008
I need a break from this vacation!
Are you like me? Do you go & go & go while on "vacation". Holy crap: Fri 2:30am, Sat 4:30am, Sun 5:00am, Mon 8:00am, AHHWW the sleep in, Tues back up at 5:00am. Last night however 7-1/2 hours of solid, in my bed, windows open, open mouth snore job.
I can't decide if I like the quick 3-4 day vacation or the longer week to ten day vaca? Both have their Pro's & Con's I guess. To be honest I'm glad I got to fly back, that makes a four day vaca worthwhile. If a person has to do a roadie, it better be a good week, or else your rear end never gains back the feeling lost from hours of no circulation.
But now it's back to work. Actually the last day of vacation for me is worse than a day at work. I spend all day thinking about what I will have to face when I get back. "Just how many e-mails will I have? Did Mr. Cook's Norcold recall kit come in, I better check on that first thing! I wonder how many voice messages I'll have to return? I wonder if my co-workers left the soda in my fridge alone while I was gone?" Those were my thoughts, and yes it consumes me.
Only bad part of the weekend was I only spent one evening with my parents. Oh well, they're coming down for T-Giving so we should have lots of time together. I hope Jen & the girls are having fun. Thanks again for everyone's hospitality. Now back to 87 & sunny :->!
9.23.2008
E-mail tag and my personal take on it...
What is your occupation right now? Bathroom attendant
What color are your socks right now? Barefoot..., and pregnant
What are you listening to right now? Anything by Englebert Humperdink
What was the last thing that you ate? I swallowed my Fruitstripe gum...
Can you drive a stick shift? Yes..., and yes :->
Last person you spoke to on the phone? The Amish <--- That's funnier than you think it is!?!?
Do you like the person who sent this to you? He's the only one with his own "ism's"
How old are you today? I look 39 I act 14
What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? WNBA without a doubt
What is your favorite drink? Court order says I can't drink anymore
Have you ever dyed your hair? Actually YES, once, but it didn't take
Favorite food? Soupkitchen sloppy joes or haggas - It's a toss-up
What is the last movie you watched? Steel Magnolia's for like the hundredth time
Favorite day of the year? Payday
How do you vent anger? Watch Steel Magnolia's
What was your favorite toy as a child? Fire...Me thinks to self. Was that a joke???
What is your favorite season? Duck
Cherries or Blueberries? Yes, in a pie please, mmm... pie
Do you want your friends to e-mail (post) you back? Friends? I don't need no stinking friends!
Who is the most likely to respond? Jen always comments, until I say she does, and then she doesn't, because I said she does
Who is least likely to respond? Please see above...? We'll see
Living arrangements? SWM w/ $$$ - Ladies???
When was the last time you cried? Watching Steel Magnolia's
What is on the floor of your closet? Skeletons
Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? Is that a rhetorical question? (Jim-ism)
What did you do last night? Partied like it was 1999
What are you most afraid of? The only thing I have to fear is...fear itself.
Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburger? I'll have the chicken or sea bass
Favorite dog breed? Brown ones
Favorite day of the week? Saturday, Saturday is a special day...It's the day we get ready for Sunday...
How many states have you lived in? All 50 & Puerto Rico - Livin' the Vida Loca
Diamonds or pearls? Who's buyin'?
What is your favorite flower? All purpose
9.10.2008
There's nothing better than...
There's nothing worse than a bad nights sleep
There's nothing better than golfing with friends
There's nothing worse than golfing alone
There's nothing better than fresh sushi
There's nothing worse than old sushi
There's nothing better than playoff baseball
There's nothing worse than mid-june baseball
There's nothing better than an old pair of shoes
There's nothing worse than breaking in new shoes
There's nothing better than a good, even great, haircut
There's nothing worse than a bad haircut
There's nothing better than watching snow fall
There's nothing worse than shoveling snow
There's nothing better than getting along with your spouse
There's nothing worse than fighting with your spouse - not that I'd know :->
There's nothing better than sitting down to a good meal
There's nothing worse than waiting to sit down to a good meal
There's nothing better than a hot drink when it's cold
There's nothing worse than a hot drink when it's hot
There's nothing better than a clean well manicured yard/lawn
There's nothing worse than yard work
There's nothing better than working/playing on the computer
There's nothing worse than computer problems
There's nothing better than payday
There's nothing worse than payin' bills
There's nothing better than cute kids
There's nothing worse than ugly kids..., sorry it's true
There's nothing better than going on vacation
There's nothing worse than coming home from vacation
There's nothing better than happy children
There's nothing worse than grumpy children
There's nothing better than good chocolate
There's nothing worse than bad chocolate
There's nothing better than The Dallas Cowboys
There's nothing worse than The Oakland Raiders
There's nothing better than napping
There's nothing worse than waking up from a nap
There's nothing better than betting and winning
There's nothing worse than betting and losing
There's nothing better than a nice car
There's nothing worse than car troubles
There's nothing better than Phoenix in winter
There's nothing worse than Phoenix in summer
There's nothing better than MNF with Al Michaels
There's nothing worse than MNF with Tony Kornheiser
There's nothing better than clean clothes
There's nothing worse than doin' laundry - I know, even though I don't do.
There's nothing better than going camping
There's nothing worse than when it rains camping
There's nothing better than cinnamon with sugar
There's nothing worse than straight cinnamon - we've all done it!!!
There's nothing better than being in shape
There's nothing worse than working out
There's nothing better than comments on your blog
There's nothing worse than no comments :-<
I've got more...but I'm bored...Hey that rhymed...Do you have the time?
9.09.2008
Killin' stuff with Sammy da Bull
8.30.2008
8.26.2008
8.21.2008
Don't taze me bro!!!
How many guns do you own? Too many people read this to admit, however if you break in to my house, be prepared!?!?
Ginger or Maryann? Yes
Do you change your the oil in car or does Jiffy Lube (or other oil changing place)? I change my car's, but use synthetic, so I go 5000 between changes (Lazy approach) - Jen has hers done at the J Lube
Riding mower or push behind? Jen, how do you mow the lawn?
Favorite drink? I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...
What is the size of your TV screen? It's this big (Me holding my arms up with my hands out)
Favorite Professional sports team? Cowboys, Duh, best team everrrr
Would you jump from an airplane? Been there, done that
Yard work or working on a car? Cahr (That was said with a Boston accent - like in Good Will Hunting) Now I'm gunna go beat up some smaart kids
Best Pizza? The best pizza is wood fired, nothing cooked in an electric oven tastes great
What was the last animal you killed (on purpose)? Duck(s)
If you could play one professional sport, what would it be? MLB relief pitcher, a really good one, not a crappy one stuck in AA ball
Last CD you bought? So long ago I can't remember - I've been downloading for so long I honestly can't remember, but I bet it was Country!!!
3 favorite TV stations? Telemundo, BBC, KBYU
Lazy boy or couch? What's the activity? Cause I was just thinkin'...!!!
How many pillows do you sleep with? Well I've never "slept" with a pillow, but I only lay on one when I sleep.
When was the last time you were at Cabela's? When I went with the above tagger 2 Christmas' ago.
Favorite car you have owned? 1972 Chevrolet camper special 3/4 pick-up with 1 ton springs in original yellow, shoulda never sold it, I'm an idiot, thanks for reminding me, grrrrrrr
Do you have a DVR? What size? Yes, like the saying goes, once you've had DVR, you never go back - Not big enough when it's the Olympics
Boxers or briefs? Commando - (Collective eeeewwww from the crowd) Aaaa-thankyou
Work out or watch sports? If I could play sports as a workout that would be my choice
Do you have any dead animals hanging on your walls? Negative, I'm not THAT creepy
Do you have to trim your ear hair? Nope, not yet - But Jen says it's a comin'
Tattoos? My ex-bro-in-law taught me this. Wait until you're 30 before you decide to get a tattoo. By then you'll really know if you truly want one. At 30 I realized they aren't for me. So no, no tattoos
Ever been arrested? Can you better define arrested? If by arrested you mean gone to jail, NO. If you mean cuffs on in rear of patrol car, YES
I don't know anymore guy bloggers, sad when I think about it... So no one else gets tagged unless you're bored, male, and wanna spend 20 minutes answering these questions.
8.15.2008
GBD - Guilty By Design
I realize that for me blogging is about reporting the past and proclaiming excitement for the future. I guess I like having things to look forward to, and who doesn't? But for now, I have no travel planned, no work trips or grand events to report. Wait a minute, I'm a liar...For our anniversary Jen got us tickets to Jim Gaffigan next month. I think he's funny, a little off, but funny. Deep down I guess he reminds me of me. "A little off"
On another note: Have you been watching the Olympics? If so why... If not why?
I have to admit, I'm logging more Olympic TV time than I care to admit. Jeff made some nice observations about the Olympics that you can read. I don't want to Big League Jeff but, I too have made some Olympic observations.
Swimming is not cool...but watching an American crush everyone else is...
If I hear the word Phelps one more time I'm pushing a Bic in to my ear...
Is it really necessary to determine who's the best badminton player in the world...
Do commentators hate the other athletes - Sounds like it to me...
Women's beach volleyball - Easy on the eyes...
Women's volleyball - Not easy on the eyes...
Admit it, China isn't as poor and crappy as you thought...
I have ZERO interest in anything not involving an American...
The older I get the more inept if feel as I watch teenagers competing on a global level...
The US 100 meter sprinter's names (Patton, Gay, Dix)...
8.04.2008
I floated on air today, what did you do?
You can see our fun times by clicking HERE. First is Megan, then Sam, then Me, then the birthday girl! I'm sorry there's no audio or music. I promised the girls I would get it posted on YouTube and if I want to get to bed tonight I better get 'er done. I highly recommend this for just about everyone. It was sooo much fun. I was afraid the girls would get scared or wuss out at the very end but nope, thanks to ANTM (America's Next Top Model) they were stoked to do it and went in face first (as you can see). Jen said it was the best birthday present ever... so I'm jazzed about that!?!? Yeah me for listening!?!?
Also, 13 years of marriage came and went this weekend, today to be exact, (Happy Anniversary Sweetie). There are a lot of people who have more years of marriage than us, but you got to admit, we're climbing the ladder. I was thinking this morning that love and marriage is a lot like an oak tree. As it gets older it grows, the roots get deeper, more and more branches grow, it gets stronger and stronger, taller and taller, but the best thing..., it gets more & more beautiful. It reminded me of the huge, gorgeous oak in Ellis' front yard. I like to hear him tell the story of how that tree was young and just "this big" when he planted it. Now it stands like a monolith protecting his house from the sun, rain and wind. When it's mid summer (like it is now), and it's in full bloom, it has huge leaves, a thick trunk, and huge acorns, it's about the best, prettiest tree I've ever seen. Just like the young daughter he gave to me in marriage, she's the best, prettiest wife I've ever seen!
7.31.2008
7.25.2008
Driving Blitches
First - When there are multiple lanes of traffic, 2 or more, and there is no right hand turn lane. The farthest right lane is just a lane...yes you can turn from this lane, but you can also go straight. Maybe it's early in the day, maybe it's late in the day. Either way the streets aren't busy. So why do Jack-holes (Ya see I combined the two compound dirty words and created my own non-dirty, yet just as effective term) insist in stopping & traveling in this lane? Why, when there are other lanes to stop at the red light, do these people insist on stopping in the right lane? They aren't turning..., they're going straight. So why stop in the right lane and not give the people behind you the opportunity to turn right on the red light???
Second - When I come down the road on the street that enters my neighborhood I have to make a right. Again, there are multiple lanes of traffic on this road, specifically 3 lanes. So why do people travel in the right lane? There is no reason for this. There are no other right turns on this street for another quarter mile. Why does this upset me you might be thinking? Because the people who are traveling behind me, even though there are other empty lanes to choose from, they ride my tail as I have to slow down and make my turn. I've even had people swerve to "miss" me and honk in the process. [me thinking]="THERE ARE 2 OTHER LANES (THAT ARE EMPTY) TO CHOOSE FROM, WHERE NOBODY IS SLOWING DOWN AND TURNING JACK-HOLE, MOVE OVER AND PASS ME."
Anywho, I needed to get that off my mind and on to the WWW.COM for all 8 people I know to read it.
7.24.2008
If the 24th of July means anything to you, you are:
A: From Utah (Or very close to someone who is)
B: Mormon or
C: From North-Eastern Arizona
Every year for the past 4 summers this time of year gives me pangs in me belly for wanting to be in Utah. The 24th is a GREAT holiday there. Some say bigger than the 4th (some = Kris & Jim). I have to admit I like the 24th parade, it's kinda gay...yeah I said it...but I like it. My favorite parts are the bagpipe bands, pretty girl floats, cops on Harley's and the horses. I also like the people watching at the parade!?!?
I miss the B-B-Q's, I miss the sitting out late at night talking, I miss camping at the Spruces, I miss fireworks in /on the street. I also miss having the day off work when I know good and well the rest of the country doesn't have the day off, it makes me feel like I'm gettin' over!
So if you're there (Utah) and enjoying the holiday...I'm not going to write what I'm thinking but, it's not nice...
Happy Pioneer day everybody!!!
7.20.2008
Blogger's block?
7.12.2008
Have you seen this man?
Second, look at the 4th entry down from the top, it should be the Oxyclean guy. I added this about 4 months ago by the way...
Now my story:
I had to work today - NBD (no big deal) - I work every Saturday. This morning at around 9:15 an attractive lady and her son (maybe age 6 or 7) came in to my store. She asked for help and I offered my assistance. I helped her find the couple of items she was looking for, she thanked me, I thanked her and went about my business. She took her item to the front register to be rung up, again NBD.
When she had paid, and left, my cashier told me her son said to his mom "That guy who helped us looked like the Mighty Putty Man."
Do you know who the Mighty Putty Man is?
HE'S THE SAME GUY AS THE OXYCLEAN GUY!!! - NOW I'LL HAVE TO SHAVE MY BEARD...
7.11.2008
Photo Tagged By Kaylee
What are my kids doing right now
Favorite shoes
Closet
Dream vacation - Alaskan cruise
Favorite room
Bedroom
There you have it!!!
7.07.2008
Don't put my steak in your balloon as a hobby.
First - water balloons. I hate water balloons. YES I know they're supposed to be fun, YES I USED to play with them as a kid. More specifically speaking I hate balloons, even more specifically I hate latex (does a double specifically make an un-specifically?). I hate the smell, I hate the texture, but mostly it's the smell. I don't think I have globophobia, I just think it's a general loathing of latex. I hate rubber bands, I hate rubber gloves and when I was younger my siblings would torture me we the rubber bands from off the daily newspaper, they would put them in their mouths, pin me down, then chew them right in front of my face. EEEWWW GROSS... Today at Target both the girls got a 100 pack of water balloons, and I had to give lessons on how to tie off a balloon. When I find myself in Hell with Satan and his followers my plight will be tying off balloons all day, every day... I just know it. It was fun teaching a skill to my girls however, they both got it with the "2-finger" technique.
Second - Black Angus. Now I'm not talking about the cow, I have nothing against cow's, as a matter of fact they're delicious, mmm... I'm talking about the restaurant - Stewart Anderson's - Jen and I had a gift certificate for $25 and thought it would be nice to eat there today as a family. SIDENOTE ON HOW WE GOT THE GIFT CERTIFICATE - (We originally gave it to Jen's dad as a present for his birthday. We got a phone call from him saying "Um this is kinda weird but... there aren't anymore Black Angus joints here in Utah". So we sent him a different gift certificate, and he sent us that one back.) I know why there aren't any more in Utah, they're horrible - Yes I see the irony - But it has been a long time since I've been and I must have forgotten. Jen's folks always used to get these great coupons to the place, and that would make it worth it. You would have to have a coupon 'cause the cheapest thing in the place is a piece of chicken for $15. We wanted steak so each plate was $21. Good thing I had $25 bucks to the place or I'd a walked out. Sub-par food, sub-par portions, OK service, but for that price Jen & I agreed Sizzler would be a much better choice. Stewart Anderson's = Highly overrated
Third - Hobby Lobby. Now I must note, this will prolly be an unpopular blitch...
BLITCH = To complain about something when writing on a blog.
Most of the people who read my blog are women, and maybe for them Hobby Lobby is great... 'cause it's a huge crap..., oops..., craft store. If you're going to name your place Hobby Lobby have some damned "Hobby" stuff there. Hobby stuff are things like model rockets, model cars, remote control airplanes, remote control cars, erector sets, train sets, etc... And don't even think about commenting with something to the effect of "Crafting IS a hobby" BULL - When someone says hobby, we all think of some nerdy guy in his basement coloring his toy soldiers to place on his civil war re-enactment set he bought off TV from TIME-LIFE. BTW - They had like 2 aisles of what I would define as "hobby" stuff and 148 aisles of crap, super crap. Their business model seems to be, double the price of everything, then mark everything 50% off. What a rip!?!? I would walk by some widget or a what-not and think "I would pay $10 for that" then I would turn it over and see a sticker for $21.99, then I would look up to see a sign saying "What-not's & widgets 35% off". I will end by saying going in to this store was a very emasculating event, I could actually see the despair on the faces of my fellow brethren also relegated to this misery!
I will say this post was not about the company, but about the itinerary. I loved spending the day with the fam.
7.02.2008
6.29.2008
Worst Job(s) / Best Job(s)
Along those lines Jen and I were talking about what would be horrible jobs & great jobs. I have a list of a few bouncing around in my head. I would love your input as well, comments are encouraged...And the more eeeewwww or aaaawwww factor your comment has the more I like you!?!?
Outhouse tank cleaner-outer guy
Cleaning the grease traps at a all-night short order fast food joint
Embalmer
Landscaper in Phoenix in July
Landscaper in Alaska in January
Laundry room worker at a hotel or cruise ship
Colonoscopy technician
Slaughterhouse worker
8th grade algebra teacher
Factory line worker at a fish processing plant
Getting the gum off the bottom of public park tables
Brittany Spears personal assistant
Flatulence analyst
Prison orifice checker
Now on the flip side, and to end on a nicer note lets get to the second half of the discussion... BEST JOBS! This list could be huge I know. The only thing I ask is if you add a job make it real, nothing dumb like TV watcher, or Bon Bon eater.
The person who gets to name paint colors (Almond Sky, Venetian, Moonlight Breeze, etc)
Hand model
Ice cream flavor maker-up-er (and taster)
Movie critic/writer
Food critic/writer
Travel critic/writer
Wildlife photograper (This is prolly a lot harder than I think)
Working on Mythbusters
Sports car test driver
Anchorman/woman (Show up for an hour and say some stuff and go home)
Major league relief pitcher (these guys work one inning every other game for like $11 mil a year)
Socialite
Oprah's personal assistant
College professor
6.26.2008
my disneyland trip by nathan w
it was fun
we drove in the car
we drove a long ways
for a long time
then we got to california
then we saw our children
they are megan and sammy
we saw my parents too
they are jim and kris
they rode on a plane
they had fun too
we went on lots of rides
some rides got us wet
we saw mickey
we saw goofy
we saw snow white
we saw the tiki room
we saw women in hot pants
we saw lots of kids crying
ther a lots of interesting people at disneyland
it was hot
i think it was the hottest ever
i took a nap
we went to california adventure too
we soared over california
not really
it was just a ride
it was called soarin' over california - funny huh
i ate cotton candy
it was pink
it was yummy
cotton candy is one of my favorites
we went on lots of rides there too
some rides got us wet
i didn't get any souvenieers
i don't like souvenieers
i like indiana jones ride
i don't like spinning rides
they make me feel yucky
then we went to the beach
we had fun
we saw dolphins
i rode some waves
i have red skin
jen says it's a sunburn
it hurts alot
i got sand in my bumcrack
we stole icebuckets from the hotel
we made a sand castle
we drove home
we were in the car forever
then we slept in our own beds
it was fun
i like spending time with my family
now i gots to go back to work
6.18.2008
6.03.2008
Procrastination! Paying off NOW!
6.01.2008
If people watching / commenting is wrong I don't want to be right!
Elvis driving a pink Cadillac
3 or 4 brides in gown, cigarette in one hand, beer in the other
1 Groom in a baseball cap, beer in hand, getting picture taking in front of "Little chapel of love"
Drunk dancing tranny - If you don't know what this is 2 bad 4 u (Transvestite - Did I spell that right?)
Ball of death
2 Spray paint artists
1 Bicycle that was packed and looking like it was ready for the Ho-Chi-Min trail
Stripper with a boiler - If you don't know what a boiler is 2 bad 4 u (Beer Gut)
2 meth addicts acosting me and asking for money
An old, fat guy sitting in direct sunlight (98 degrees) for an hour - Stand up - Pick his wedgie - And sit down again
My credit card get denied for $4.00
Being asked for my father's maiden name
2 Lesbians making out
Internet access costing $5.99 per day and gladly paying it
3 Street preachers telling us were going to Hell because we're there - Does anyone else see the irony?
88 Lb woman stealing cigarettes out of ash trays
And countless indescribable hairdo's, outfits, odd-couples, and behaviors
It was great sharing all of this with Jen. She and I are like peas and carrots..., my Jenny!
Anyway - I'm glad to be home, I'm glad everything went well, I'm glad I don't have to drive more than 8 miles tomorrow :-> We had sooo much fun it's hard to find where to begin. My plan was to do a daily or bi-daily post - Kind-of a blog journal I guess. But when we were without the net during our SLC stay that plan de-railed. Now I'm too lazy to post it all. Jen does a good enough job anyway (Yes honey I know it's cheating).
Thanks to the Woodard family for Millcreek Canyon
Thanks to Dad & Brian for Golf - even though I lost :-(
Thanks to my work for my vacation time and the use of the RV
Thanks for our blessings that allowed this to happen
Thanks to Kari & Rainier for dinner
Thanks to my wife for putting up with my Clark W Griswold ideas / ways
Happy 40th to my parents - Love you both!!!
5.27.2008
Things in Moab can be a little different...
Here's a short list of things we have noticed, or realized are different in Moab than most other places:
Deodorant is completely optional - encouraged, but optional
Wearing a bra is also completely optional - not encouraged, but optional
It is not necessary for one to do one's hair, ever, regardless of appearance, length, color, etc...
Leave your socks in your drawer at home, you shouldn't wear them with sandals
People speak Jeep, don't start talking like you know what you mean, unless you do
Squealing your tires while turning going 2 MPH in a parking lot is cool
Squealing your tires while taking off from a stop light in an import car is not cool
Body damage whether on your person or vehicle is a badge of honor
ATVs and unlicensed "Off-Road only" vehicles do not seem out-of-place on the streets
No one cares unless they're over 44" - Your tires that is
Bicycles yield to motorists, not the other way around
Having a dog(s) is not required... but encouraged
Granola is something you eat, not something you are
It is OK to drive 7 miles in a little over 5 hours
There are no thieves here, lock nothing up, nothing ever gets stolen
Sand in your hair will soften it, once you wash it out
It is OK to spend $2,ooo on your weekend, it is also OK to spend $20 on your weekend
Hemp has it's own religion / following here
Negro Bill is a place, not a slang term for an old black man
Potato Salad is also a place, not a picnic accoutrement
Indian art is something you should go see, not buy
Don't ask the locals where to go, they'll never tell you anywhere good anyway
Wear browns, greens, tans...not reds, yellows, oranges
Socks, once stained with red sand, will not lose that stain
Jeepers, Campers, Euros, Off-roaders, ATV-ists, Bicyclists, Hang gliders, Motorcyclists, Hikers, Kayakers, Boaters, River Dogs, Climbers, Artists, Backpackers, Shutterbugs & Tourists are all welcome in Moab!
5.26.2008
Moab = Jeep (Saturday)
5.25.2008
Vacation post Days 1&2
5.20.2008
Travelin' man...
Can't concentrate...
Mind on Moab...
Tonight I found out which RV we're going to be taking on our vaca. It's kind of like the movie RV, meaning it's kind of a rolling turd. Don't get me wrong I'm glad and excited to have it, but when I started down this RV road I envisioned something a touch nicer. When I went in to it this afternoon the heat from the day had melted the adhesive on a cabinet door and it was just hanging by a single screw :-). I get to bring it home tomorrow to pack it up even though we won't be leaving until Thursday night.
I just had a thought, maybe I shouldn't broadcast that we'll be gone on vacation, oh well.
My only fear is that RV might end up standing for Ruined Vacation. I hope nothing goes too wrong, I know we'll have problems, I just hope they are not too much to bear - That sound you hear is me knocking on wood.
I haven't had a vacation this long since Jen & I went to Europe when she was pregnant with Megan (11 years ago). It's a good thing to, lots going on at work n all. I'll be glad when I'm away and can concentrate on things other than real life...Wish us luck!
Oh and keep an eye on our house!?!?
5.14.2008
That's no Subway Jared
Anyway his name was Jared, and everytime he came in to the room I would kinda sing "That's Jared" after the "Jared, the galleria's of jewelry" jingle. Jared loved it, I think he liked the attention 'cause not many people were his friend for some reason.
I was often the first person at work in the morning, and had to open the front gate. One morning Jared was waiting for me in his beat up little Nissan Sentra. He was in tears and informed me that some personal things had come up and that he had to quit, but came to tell me this and to say goodbye. Kinda sad, I didn't pry, most of the times guys don't want to talk about what's going on right at that moment. We need to internalize things, work them out in our own minds, and when we're ready, we'll let it out.
The next day when I got to work I had a huge, and I mean huge, sports trophy on my desk. It was a karate trophy of a person I didn't know, a name I'd never heard, oh and by the way this person had taken like 3rd place. I have included this picture so you can get an idea of what the trophy looked like.
So of course I'm like "What the hell is this", who left their gimungous karate trophy on my desk. So I set aside without much more thought. About an hour later Jared comes in to my office and sits down. He proceeds to tell me what a great boss I've been, how much he looks up to me, and how sad he is to have left. He tells me he gave me the trophy and wanted me to have it. He said he worked really hard to get it (remember the name on the front of the 3rd place trophy was not his). I tried to give it back, I told him that the trophy meant far more to him than it would to me but he insisted I keep it because it meant so much to him for me to keep it.
That night I showed up at home with said trophy in hand. When Jen saw it she fell on the floor laughing he guts out. Here's a grown man, holding a 3 foot tall karate trophy in sparkly metallic blue paint. To be honest I felt guilty for years for having that damn trophy. I had it until we moved to AZ, then it had to go.
I know this story seems a little sad, on Jared's behalf, but it really was very funny.
5.11.2008
Livin' the dream!
Did you fall for the bait??? Life as a dad with two daughters I guess?
PS - The tea party was nice as well...
Happy Mother's Day Jeni
5.01.2008
Caveat emptor - "Let the buyer beware"
4.27.2008
Hillbillies from Gilbert
4.26.2008
Ya learn something new everyday
Part Uno: This morning Sammy woke up hell bent on getting an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. She refused any other offer of food including pancakes and her favorite, cereal. Well some time passed and we needed to get going to a primary activity, she said she wouldn't go unless she got her Egg McMuffin. I looked up at the clock and realized that it was after 10am and Micky Dees stopped serving Egg McMuffins, shouldn't have let Sam know that by the way! At the activity the kids would be making Mother's & Father's day gifts. On the way out the door Sam informed me she would not be making me a gift today :-).
When we got there she was in no mood to socialize with anybody (still too pissed about missing her Egg McMuffin). After talking to some others and socializing for a bit I went to leave "Where's Sam" I think to myself. I found her out in the foyer, curled up in a ball on a chair, balling her eyes out. You want to talk about a girl that can hold a grudge!!! She was mad Megan got there on time and already started working on Mom's & Dad's gifts. I did not leave her there for the poor primary workers to deal with, so she came home with me.
When we got home she announced that since she couldn't get McDonald's that morning she was going to Sonic. So she went out, opened the garage door, got on her bike, and took off down the street. Luckily Jen distracted her long enough for me to get on my bike and follow her. So down to Sonic we went, passing by a mighty smelly dead cat.
Once she ordered her vanilla Sonic blast with Nem in Nems (M & M's) and no whip cream she finally cheered up. This is when I swooped in and played super dad. We talked about school, we studied the one dollar bill, and talked about why restaurants stink so bad. All in all it ended up pretty good considering how the morning had started. She even shared her Nem in Nem blast with me.
Part Deux: Here's a few things I already knew, but, was reminded again of during the day.
All thrift stores smell the same
Restaurant garbage cans on hot days smell real bad
So do dead animals
You have to "break" your toes in before going in flip flops all day long
Never go grocery shopping while terribly hungry
Pasta salad cannot be made in ten minutes
Fresh made cotton candy is my favorite outdoor treat
Diet Coke with Lime is delicious (Lasted 7 days quittin' Coke) hehehe
If you're going to be outside in Phoenix you've got to provide yourself with your own shade
The only girls that flirt with me are either related to me or are mentally handicapped
When your youngest curls up in your armpit and says "I love you dad" nothing much else matters